Doing it all. Finding balance within the family home.
[By Claire Chadwick]
‘Back in the day’ it was the norm that the men went out & worked to earn a living, and the women stayed home. The women were in charge of the house, the upbringing of the kids and balancing the budget. Over time, and as the world changed, women started working. Working outside of the family home. They proved to society that they’re capable and strong and very able to earn money in any & every type of profession whilst raising a family. Women started ‘bringing home the bacon’ and contributing to their family’s income. A very liberating progression. Over time, this empowering action expanded; and now in 2012 it is very common to see women – mothers – returning to the workforce not long after the birth of their children. Some have to; for monetary reasons, others choose to.
I’ve experienced several sides of this spectrum. I’ve been a fulltime stay-at-home-mum, a work-from-home-mum and a working-mum. Each has it’s pros and cons. Each just as exhausting as the other and each just as rewarding as the other. Contradicting I know!
While being a stay-at-home-mum, I felt on top of the homely tasks such as housework, meal preparations and quality time with my kids, yet some days I mourned adult interaction, brain stimulation and the thrill of earning money. When being a working-mum, I felt a little frazzled for time – trying to fit it all in – the housework & grocery shopping & chores, as well as spending rich time with my kids, all while getting to work on time, giving my job my all and then being prepared to do it all again the next day. And now my status – a work-from-home-mum – I feel grateful that I can work around my kid’s schedules and from the comfort of home. I can get ‘stuff’ done around the house and attend play-dates and ballet lessons with my littlies and I can contribute to our mortgage and monthly bills. However, I always feel like my to-do list is growing and I have to commit to late nights to stay on top of my work.
I also know that every woman is different. We all mother differently and we all want different things for ourselves and for our families. However, one thing I’ve discovered that almost every woman wants {besides a good massage and full night’s sleep} is – BALANCE! We’re all striving to achieve a sense of balance between work and play, whether we ‘work at a workplace’ or ‘work at home as a fulltime Mother’. Some have it sussed, others are stumbling & trialling their way through systems and attempts to make it all mesh.
Me? Have I got it all worked out? No way!!
Yes, I’m still going through a system of trial & error in hope to create some calm and balance. I’ve picked the brains of my other Mummy-friends and I’ve played with a few time management ideas. I’m learning that something usually has to give. For example, the days when my kids are played with, stimulated & content – the washing pile is untouched and beds are unmade. Or the days when my work is complete and I’m on top of that factor – my kids are irritable and bored, and dinner is nowhere near being ready on time. And on the days when we’ve done the groceries, run errands, played at the beach, had a milkshake date with friends and tided the house – my work has stacked up untouched and a night of no sleep calls so I can get on top of it all again.
Maybe us Mothers are too hard on ourselves? Maybe we expect too much from ourselves and this is just leaving us in a vulnerable state of failure? Maybe society expects too much from mothers and women these days?
With all that said…..Have you been successful in finding balance within your home? What works for you? What tips can you give on balancing work life with family life? How can we be the best possible versions of ourselves whilst being busy yet happy Mums?
Claire blogs daily from her Brisbane home at blog.scissorspaperrockdesigns.com.au She’s a lover of coffee, summer, red wine, blue cheese and the sound of her children laughing. Claire is a happily married freelance writer & primary school teacher who is on a mission to seep as much goodness out of life as possible. Claire believes in living a wholesome life full of rich memories and cherished moments. Her weaknesses: designer handbags, good champagne and a jar of Nutella.
I really enjoyed reading your take on the whole balance thing – when my 3 children were small (a very long time ago) I worked full time and so I know how precarious the idea of balance is! I missed out on lots of special moments as my children grew up but I also saw the independence and confidence that they developed without me at their constant beck and call. If I could turn the clock back I think I’d so it all pretty much the same – perhaps be a little less anal about housework and a little more carefree and spontaneous in the precious free times we did have. Keep experimenting and enjoying every experience, ditch any feelings of guilt and look after yourself too!